Wednesday 7 January 2009

Only as Strong...

I’ve often heard the saying, ‘Only as strong as the weakest member’ I’ve never taken much notice of this or similar phrases but recently I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. I’ve been working in teams and playing in bands pretty much my whole life and this phrase speaks a lot of truth.

Throughout my life I’ve always found myself on one side or the other of this phrase. Often in work I shoot straight to the strongest. I’m not sure how I do it, I just always have. In fast food I was only not made manager because I was under 18, in technical support I quickly became the Goto guy for the entire floor. Now I’m still in support and have been put solely in charge of an £850,000 training facility, even though I’m still only working an entry level position on a support desk.
But creatively I’ve always been the opposite, in school I was first chair saxophone and only really rivalled by one person. We weren’t ever in the same class so we never really got a chance to find out who was better. But aside from that, that’s it, towards my final years playing the sax it was becoming evident with the progress of my classmates that my days at number one were numbered. When I switched to bass guitar at 14, I suddenly found myself overshadowed by two other bassists, so much so that I became quite discouraged and quit the band. Afterwards I played in a couple of bands and ventured into other aspects of creativity, cartooning, comedy, writing, but I always found myself standing in another’s shadow. Or certainly feeling that way. It’s always bothered me on some level but as I said earlier I never really gave it much thought until now. I just always waited for that day when I would magically become great at something. Now here I am, I’ve given up the Sax, my cartooning has become nothing more than occasional doodling at work, my writing has succumb to a half finished novel and this blog, and my comedy never got past initial planning.
But then there’s bass. Thirteen years I’ve been playing it now, one more equates to half my life. I’ve been trying to think lately about where exactly I am with it, and where I want to go. I’ve stuck with it, which is really something for me. I still enjoy playing, even more so now than when I started. I like the sound, presence and flexibility of it, it’s a truly amazing instrument. Still, I wouldn’t consider myself a great bass player. I’m good but it’s still pretty rare I meet or see someone that I don’t instantly label as better than me, or at the same level. Some might say that I’m being to negative, I dunno... I’m not as good a player as I should be, any musician that you meet that’s been playing for as long as I have is usually pretty impressive, but I’m not. I can play a few really hard songs but I’m no Jimi (or Flea as bassists go).
I don’t worry too much about it as it’s mostly due to lack of practice and time. Bass has never been much more than a hobby to me, but sometimes I wonder what it could be, or could’ve maybe. Am I as good as I’ll ever get? What else can I do? I’ve tried lessons, learning to read music, different styles and techniques. Am I really any better now than I was when I started? Am I still the weakest in the band?